How to Save Your Sanity in One Step

Take time for you. Yes, I know–it sounds simple, but it’s really not. We’re exhausted. We’re overscheduled. We have family, career, and personal responsibilities. Plus, we have autoimmune conditions that take many hours each week to manage between medical appointments and time-consuming medication administration and monitoring. Several years ago, I  bought a copy of O, The Oprah Magazine when a headline caught my attention:  “Too Busy to Live? How to Go from Swamped to Sane–Now.” I intended to go home and read it, but responsibilities got in the way and after 3 years, I found a few minutes to go back to it. I truly do understand overwhelmed, so when people told me to take care of me first, I ignored them. It sounds like an amazing idea, but who has time for that?

Then one day I realized I was falling apart. Among my responsibilities as a mom, wife, teacher, friend, volunteer, and patient, I realized I had nothing left for me. The lifestyle I was living left me neglecting my own mental health. The advice I got was the same from loved ones and professionals.  I must take care of myself first so I’m able to fulfill personal and career responsibilities and meet the needs of other important people who I love and look after in my multiple roles. One of the most important lessons I’ve ever earned as my life kept spinning around me is that when I don’t take care of myself first, everything else falls apart. 

Putting yourself first takes commitment. To start, you have to figure out what you really need. While I’m a social person, I recharge from being alone in a perfectly quiet environment. I also love the outdoors and feel better when I move my body enough to at least meet my daily step goal. Therefore, my self-care plan was easy enough to identify. I wanted to commit to walking at least 30 minutes outside each day because I knew that would meet my mental and physical needs. My plan seemed simple enough, but sometimes real life interferes.

As autoimmune patients, we know that medical issues will get in the way. I’m a type 1 diabetic, so any exercise changes my medication needs, and there is no exact science to figure this out precisely. I could eat the same foods and walk the same amount of miles, but I know that on some days, I’ll be eating my jelly beans and on others, I’ll be pumping some extra insulin to balance my blood sugar level. It’s just another one of life’s daily experiments, and I know that and can prepare for it as I build my new habit. I never go anywhere without my insulin pump, my cell phone, and my candy.

Additionally, I have sarcoidosis, which presents other problems. During a terrible flare, I struggled horribly to get enough air in my lungs, my leg was completely numb, and I felt exhausted. I couldn’t imagine making myself a priority in the way I usually needed to at this time. My doctor asked what I was doing for exercise, and I told him that I was proud of myself for walking to my couch. He encouraged me to do more, even if I moved slowly, even if it was for only a few minutes. While I began to doubt his medical expertise, I also figured that I didn’t have anything to lose. I pushed myself and was thrilled with the results of my baby steps. I honestly started on my treadmill at only 2 miles per hour for 5 minutes and that was tough, but I built my speed and distance over time, helping me both physically and mentally. Although there have been times that I temporarily ignored my self-care priority for medical reasons, doctor’s advice helped me get back there without the need to change my personal goal, and that saved my sanity. However, keep in mind that changing your goal is okay too if your medical condition forces it. Just restart your journey when possible or choose a new objective to prioritize yourself, even if it’s for a short time. Stay flexible for the ultimate success.

I have to admit, my mother is an inspiration here as well and proof that you shouldn’t let other people interfere with your self-care priority. She has MS and can barely walk, but one of her sanity goals is to walk on the treadmill regularly. She explained that it helps her to improve her stride and balance, which makes her feel better about herself in many ways, including her ability to walk. When she first shared this with me, I silently panicked as I pictured her falling with nobody there to help her. My next step was to caution her and suggest more physical therapy instead. Clearly, I was focused on my worries rather than her needs. The next time I visited her, we went to the gym together, and I watched her walk with so much pride in my heart. She was walking just over a mile per hour and holding onto the handrails to help her balance.  She was careful, but she walked with more confidence than I had witnessed in a long time.  Everyone will face obstacles with a self-care goal, but it’s important to acknowledge and plan for the challenges. Be confident in yourself, knowing that others will try to impede your progress. Don’t let them. Being honest with yourself sets you up for the success and makes the goal more attainable.

Along with my medical challenges, my dog, Winston, walks with me, and every time he sees another animal,  he lunges after it, trying to drag me along. Winston is smart, but when I explain to him that I’m not an Olympic runner, he yanks my arm even harder, almost pulling me down at times. Recently, a family of deer crossed the road in front of us and ran into a cornfield.  Winston magically escaped his harness and sprinted after them, continuing to run for about 30 minutes. Thankfully, my daughter was visiting and made a successful tackle that ended his game. Otherwise, I might have lost my beloved pup. Obviously, every sanity break is not going to go as smoothly as planned and, at times, the experience may just stress you out. Admit that to yourself from the beginning, and just keep going. 

At this point in my life, I am meeting my goal of at least 30 minutes, usually more, to refresh myself mentally.  Yes, I try to add other exercises and activities to keep me healthy, but that 30 minutes is just for my sanity. No matter what stands in the way, I won’t give it up. This time is for me. 

Nothing in life is perfect, and that’s okay. It just makes our daily autoimmune experiment a little more challenging. With that understanding, reach out and grab your sanity. Make a plan and work through the challenges to build a habit that makes you feel mentally stronger. Most importantly, stick with it by making yourself your number one priority. You and your loved ones will appreciate it.